How I learned to let go and love The Shadow World
by VeronikaB
Summary: Self insert!manipulative!Simon. SLASH. Simon/Jace
1. Chapter 1

**Author notes:** I'm a big lover of fanfiction, and I admire those who are able to write, unfortunately I have to confess, I am not among them. My spelling is terrible :( So any beta reader please if you are interested contact me, I would be grateful for help, be it grammar, filling the blanks or help with romantic scenes, really anything would be good.

Anyway if you can get over it I invite you to read ideas that I got or read somewhere for stories that I would be very happy to read. So the authors who needs inspiration and wants to adopt them, just please write to me, so I can read your work. I can't wait :).

 **Warnings: contains SLASH (malexmale relationship pairing), foul language, sexual content**

Inspired by Shadowhunters (tv show), Mortal instruments-The city of bones (movie) and book series The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare.

Self insert!manipulative!Simon

Simon waved at Clary and connected to her in front of the club. While he waited, he remembered how it's been seventeen years ago when he first opened his eyes to see over him a leaning face, which he later discovered has belonged to his new mother.

He had no idea how it happened. How could he had become a baby, but over the years he made a peace with it. His pragmatic side rightfully pointed to him that he doesn´t have any other choice. It was not as difficult as it might seem. In his previous life he was ambitious and hard-headed. That didn´t made him many friends and him and his family were not too close. His parents were the typical hippies, so it's clear that they didn´t had much in common. He chased after a success and everything else pushed to the side. It bothered him when he realized that all that hard work was for naught.

Though he lived alone with his mother he couldn´t wish for anything more. She was a petite brown-haired woman who sincerely loved him and tried to encourage him as much as possible. He has gotten a second chance, so he decided to slow down a little bit. Justifying it by the fact that he has time and that he can always catch up in a college, he simply decided to enjoy his life to the fullest. He took an entire advantage of being young again and tried new things. He learned to play the guitar and to his surprise he had a real talent. He joined the theatre club and even tried to play sports, but it wasn't in him. Curse his thin gangly body, if he didn't miss one thing about being a teenager it was this!

Thanks to the fact that he was an outgoing extrovert and had developed social conscience, he quickly became one of the populars. Easily fitting between them. Also, he put in afford. Read magazines for teenagers, dressed by fashion and watched what was in. It was worth it to him, an ability to flirt with the loveliest folks from school, an insurance of a free place in a lunch table and in the selection of the groups, never staying last left. He just kept having a good time.

He had come back to himself when the voice of a bouncer disturbed him. He was arguing with some guy, who stood in a line in front of them. Finally he let him inside. Simon got the impression of deja vu, as though that's exactly what he saw in a past. At the same time he got the feeling that he shouldn't be there. He wanted to say something, but when he saw Clary enthusiasm bobbing on the site, shut his mouth. It wasn't worth it.

I knew Clary since I was little. We attended the same nursery and both were enough ahead so teachers have been in the habit of putting them together, and it continued in high school. There they were even in the same group of friends. Artistic kids. Clary with her art and Simon with his music. When they both joined the same dramatic club, they found that, surprisingly, they have a lot in common, and since then he could not get rid of her. She just decided that it is their destiny to be best friends. He wanted to talk her out of it, but she didn´t surrender, even dragged their parents into it, they thought that it is sweet and so he gave up. Clary was not a bad friend. She could be kind and make him laugh only if she wasn't incredibly naive and self-absorbed too.

Clary has been dropping hints lately that she wants to go to the new cool club. He would have happily ignored it but his mother wised up and made him take her as her birthday present. So now he´s here, freezing his ass in que, in front of it. Finally it was their turn and they found themselves inside. This Pandemonium club really wasn´t his scene, he skeptically watched people moving around him. In his jeans and a flannel shirt he was out of place between all that leather, satin, chains and tattoos. Clary was obliviously enchanted, he took his chance and made his withdrawal to the bar. He didn´t even look at the assortment of colorful bottles of different shapes and ordered "rum with coke". In a corner of an eye he saw group of eccentric dressed people, thought they were familiar and because he didn´t have anything to do, he asked the bartender with indifference who they are. He passed him a drink "No wonder you've spotted them. That´s owner Magnus Bane and his VIP guests". "Hm" he took a sip and at that moment he got it. Magnus Bane, Clary Fray, Simon Lewis. _Fuck, he is a character in some teenage fantasy bullshit! And not even a main one!_

Clary Fray, a sassy redhead with a mother who has a shop with antiques. Family friend, detective named Luke. And Simon, best friend who is hopelessly in love with her.

"When something looks too good to be true, it isn´t" Simon glumly stared at the bottom of his glass. _Now, Simon, what will you do? Do you have to do anything at all? Let's be honest, you're a side character whose only thing going for him was being the cliché geeky best friend who is hopelessly in love with main heroine. Fuck that! I refuse to have my reason for living be to make that's diva´s life more interesting!_ "Oh god, that means she was right with all hers me, me, me rants, this universe is all about her" he whispers horrified. _Repress, repress. Its fine, everything is all right. You just have to get away for a while so that she won't be able to pull you with her to that clusterfuck. It will be better if I make mum take a few weeks off and we take trip somewhere far away._ He decisively nodded and threw the drink into himself.

He got up and was about to leave when Clary came and caught his hand "Simon, I just saw same guys with a knife following someone". "Are you sure?" "Of course I am!". "Alright, calm down. I´ll look for a security". "It could be late by then. We will have to take care of it ourselves". "Whoa! Are you insane!?". "Simon, please, it´s matter of life and death". Let me tell you she's really strong for such a small thing. I tried to pry her hand off me bud the grip was too tight. She dragged me to the one of private booths in the back. She pulled back the curtain and we got to see blue haired guy kneeling on the floor in chains. _I just don´t have any luck tonight._ Thought I wouldn´t see them, they must have to taken the invisibility runes off or they lost effect.

Jace POV

Interrupted by a girl's scream, his gaze fell on the redhead with a shocked expression on the face holding hand of brown-haired boy. Demon took advantage of his inattention, severed its ties and lunged at him. _Shit! I will feel that in a morning._ He wrestled him to the ground, but before he had time to take a bite from Jace´s neck, whip thrusted him back. Jace bounced off the floor, quickly jumped to his feet and threw his sword, which tore the beast´s back as he tried to get out. The girl screamed, her voice was jarring. _Mundanes!_ Demon's fallen body exploded in a blaze of sparks, left were only easily overlooked black spots.

"Excuse the interruption," the boy said "we´ll go" nudged redheads. She came back to herself and looked at him with wide eyes incredulously "What, how, what happened?". "The art students filming their coursework. I thought, you know that they are trying its special effects and it´s why did you so badly wanted to go here tonight" he cocked his head to the side quizzically.

Alec, Isabelle and Jace tried to pretend it is no news that for them. "Special effects, these weren´t some special effects, Simon!". "Come on, Clary, let them work. Once again I apologize for the interruption." Clary was clearly fed up, she pierced them with a suspicious look and furiously stalked off. _Good riddance._ "I don´t know what is so surprising, such a beautiful face like mine obviously belongs totally to the movie screen" arrogantly said Jace with a sigh of relief that the situation is resolved.

End of Jace POV

He could not help but scoff. Immediately he regretted it when Jace slid him a glance. "What did you say, your name was?". "I didn´t". "It was polite way of asking you to tell me your name". "Why should I do that?" he threw him smug grin "People have a habit of doing what I tell them". "I think you underestimate yourself". "Maybe you just don´t know me better yet".

It was right here that Alec threw his hands in the air and stormed out. Isabela tossed one last curious look at Jace and followed him. Simon turned but Jace´s prevented his leaving by holding his upper arm. "You don´t think we are actors" his eyes burned through him. He tried to look innocent "Sure you are. You are in the beginning of your carriers but I´m sure you will break through in no time. I look forward to your new movie". Jace raised his eyebrows "You are really bad liar". "I´m not" he said without thinking. Jace smiled and Simon wanted to hit his arrogant face. "Well if you haven´t been shooting a movie what have you done?". "I thing you know exactly what just transpired. And it´s very interesting because mundies shouldn´t have that knowledge".

 _He won't let it be. I have to trick him somehow, but how?_ He notices Jace´s eyes look at his lips when he nervously licked them. _That has a potential._ He gave him once over. _And it will be fun._ He smiled at him and shook off his hand. He moved a bit and sat on the white sofa. He motioned for him to sit down, and Jace curiously did. "Well I don't have any idea, what could have happened here, but if I had to guess, hypothetically, there were some hunters killing a monster tonight. If any existed, which of course, is not possible. " Of course, but you don't know anything "."Nothing, but if I knew" here he slid off the couch "I would very much like to give a thanks for saving me" he moved to straddle him and then he slowly rolled his hips. Jace tipped his head back and moaned, his hands found their place on Simon's waist. Simon bit his own lips to not do the same and to stay in control when he felt his rock-hard body and his straining cock which was creating a wonderful friction between them. Simon was flooded with the winning feeling when he watched his eyes darken in desire and that lush mouth open. He couldn´t resist, lowered his head and kissed his parted lips and began by tongue fuck his mouth with the same timing as moving his hips.

When he was sure that he is too occupied, took an advantage of the moment of surprise and rolled out.

He observed the place and considered where he could hide. He crouched behind the bar and when the bartender turned questioningly at him, shrugged "I saw my ex", and was given an understanding not. When Simon thought it was safe, he sat on a stool and ordered a vodka. After today he has the right to get drunk, he found out the monsters exist and he is now quite a bit lower on the food chain than he´s feeling good with. When the alcohol started working, he relaxed and then headed to the dance floor. All he wanted at the moment was to forget the shitstorm heading his way. Not that he got that respire.

He felt a hot gaze on his body. The beat of the song Animals by Maroon5 has made him dance in a sensual rhythm. From the under of the eyelashes, he watched Jace stride closer. He should be probably panicking but with an alcohol, moving strangers pressing to him and shining lights, he really doesn't feel like it. Hands caught him and pushed him to the firm body. He felt a warm breath on his lips and heard a deep sultry voice that had brought about the pleasant chill. "Didn't anyone tell you it is not wise to mess with a fire? ". He gave him a coy smile "Oh, they did. I just couldn't help myself. I have been a bad boy, would you like to punish me? ". Jace looked as if he couldn't believe what he have said. Simon drew himself closer and purred in his ear, "Oh please sir, I have been so naughty and deserve to be punished. Do it hard and fast, please sir, make sure I remember it this time, sir". He took advantage of his shock, freed himself and quickly plunged into the crowd. He swiftly ran outside and headed straight home. _An interesting night._


	2. Chapter 2

Self insert!manipulative!Simon 2

Interrupted by the ringing cellphone, hands blindly groped for the bedside table and Simon sat down clumsily. „Hello?". „Simon! Thanks god! I really need your help. My mum has been kidnapped. And Luke, Luke doesn´t care! And, and there was a some thing trying to kill me and I just woke up to people telling me I can´t go home!" he awoke at once. „Clary, take a deep breath. Now more slowly". „My mum was trying to tell me something when some men tried to get to the apartment. I don't know what happen, one moment I am in our living room and hear her tell me she loves me and to find Luke, then suddenly all around me is a purple glow, and then I am at the police station. I heard Luke tell some strangers that he doesn't care about us and that he won't make any deal with them. I ran as fast as I could back home. Door was broken and everting was wrecked. There was Dot but she wasn't Dot. She said that they are looking for the cup and that's why they took my mother. She though I knew where is it but I don't! Then she became some big monstrous thing and attacked me. I would have died if the blonde from the club didn't show up. He saved me. I was hurt and blacked out. I awakened in some place they call the Institute. I don't know what to do. Please Simon, please, I really need you. I don't know who else I can trust". He ran his hand across his face "fine, I'll pick you up". "How? You don´t know where I am". "I have a mobile app, I just trace you by your GPS". "Please hurry". _Damn._ He pulled on his jeans and tied his shoes. I don´t want to go but I'm not such a bastard to not give her at least little help. She sounded so desperate. _I'll just go and try to calm her. I'm sure that after that her shadowhunters will take care of the rest, now that she belong to their exclusive club._

"Clary, I am here. What are you doing at the abandoned church?" Simon waited in front of it and called Clary. "Simon! I will explain everything. Just don't move! I'll be a second" her voice was heavy with relief. The door opened and he saw her running to him. She pulled him to hug and he felt her ice cold skin. "Whoa! Fray, what are you wearing?" handing her his jacked. _Man, I am glad I am not a girl. Who in their right mind would wear that in this weather? Yeah well, that's the lure of young adult books and tv shows I guess, it's all about gorgeous people but I didn't know that such impractical skimpy clothes are mandatory._ "I am, here. Let me take you home". Suddenly she turned. Simon didn't see anything but from her reactions he guested that the fight is on. She broke away from his arms and pointed at the ground "Jace! Is he dead!?" He stepped closer "Is who dead? Are you sure you're ok?". The body appeared in a jiffy and he tried his best to appear confused "What the?". He thought he was doing quite well when Jace appeared _. Idiot, idiot, idiot. Why did you have to slip and tell him you know about the monster hunting business? Maybe he doesn't remember you._ He avoided looking in his eyes and hoped he was right. "We don't have time for this. Everyone back inside" Simon let out breath he was holding, and even if he put the token complain, he followed. Inside looked abandoned just like the outside, Jace pulled his stele and marked his hand with a rune. Simon couldn´t look, it looked so painful and the knowledge of the shadowhunters doing it regularly made him respect them. It took some balls to voluntary daily burn your skin and doing so to protect someone who never even thanks you. Jace grasped his hand and squeezed it. "Buddy, I don´t think I am your type" he joked and then stared as the dilapidated interior transformed into a modern center full of computers and moving people, it was why he didn't notice how Jace´s eyes flashed, bad luck to him now he doesn't have any warning. _My goodness!_ _It's one thing to know about it and another to see it. The glamour rocks._ _I wonder what else they could do. This isn´t some tv show, it´s a whole new world. They´re already differences like Clary calling me or Jace flirting with me. I have a feeling, I have only touched the tip of iceberg._

Jace spread out his arms "welcome to the Institute, mundane". "They are shadowhunters, they hunt demons and protect us. My mum is somehow connected to this" explained Clary.

"What is going on? Why is the mundane in the Intitule?" Alec joined the group. "The Circle member followed him here, its oblivious they know his connection to Clary. You know them, Alec. You know what all are they capable of doing. It will be for the best if we offer refuge until it will be safe again" passionately defended his decision Jace. "What do you mean? Are these guys going to hurt Simon because of me?" Clary despondently enquired. "Don´t worry we won´t let that happened, right Alec?". "Right" Alec was clearly unhappy to be put in the spotlight. "Wait a minute. Don´t I have any say in this?" Simon interrupted. "Sure you do, you can stay safe with us or you can refuse and become a corpse if you are lucky" Jace mockingly smiled. "What is the Circle anyway?" asked Simon. "The Circle is a group of shadowhunters, led by Valentine Morgenstern, who believed that all Downworlders should be slaughtered. They rebelled and tried overthrown The Clave. They have fallen and were destroyed" recited Alec. "What do they want with my mother?" Clary looked for answer. "I don't know but I know someone who can tell us more" replied Jace. "What are we waiting for?!" Clary and Jace went through the door leading to training room. "Not you. Runes would have killed you. Just stay here and don't touch anything" strong arm didn't allow him to move.

They returned in a while, Clary looked stricken and pulled herself to his side "My mum was married to Valentine. She apparently run away and stole the Mortal cup from him. They are looking for it".

"The Mortal cup is one of our most precious instruments. With him we create more shadowhunters and in the bad hands it can help control demons. Here ends all joking, Jace. We have to call The Clave" added Alec. "And we will as soon as we check that Clary doesn´t know anything useful". Everyone turned to her "I don´t know anything, Jace thinks my mind has been blocked, we have to find the real Dot, I am almost certain she's a warlock, she can help". "Well then we best get ready" Isabelle took her hand and led her to her room to change clothes. _Don´t leave me here._ Simon tried to make himself invisible. He noticed Alec disappeared while Jace looked at the weapons.

"The Clave don´t approve of the mission and they want Clary to stay at the Institute" Alec declared when he rejoined together with Isabelle and Clary. Jace frowned "I thought we agreed to not contact The Clave until we know more". "You thought wrong". Isabelle snuck between them "Boys, boys calm down. We can check it out anyway. And Alec don´t be such a buzzkill. "You too, Izzy?" Alec felt betrayed "well, where would you wanted to start searching if you have all answers". His luck run out, in that moment Clary gasped and clutched her necklace. Simon knew she was having a vision but it still looked weird, her standing still with wide blanked eyes and a gapping mouth." I know where she is! She´s near the Pandemonium. Come on hurry, Simon will drive us there". "Wait, what?" he found himself behind the weal. When he parked, he wanted to stay inside but wasn't allowed. _All that crap about protecting mundies but would it kill someone to listen to my opinion? Pff, I just can´t see have is running through the dark street while The Circle is hunting us safer than staying in the Institute._ Suddenly Clary stopped and gasped "Dot, no! No, it can´t be happening. They have her, I just saw some guy with the Circle mark kidnap her! What will we do know, how will we find my mother?" she was fraught with worry"what about my memories? There must be something to help me remember". "It´s worth a shot, we have to visit the Silent brothers" the shadowhuters exchanged looks.

The City of Bones, he knew it´s described like a huge underground complex, but it doesn´t made him feel any better to have to wade through pieces of smelly garbage, next to car wrecks and lighted dustbins. Still he preferred to stay aboveground than risk a chance of meeting the telepaths. What would have they said if they read his mind? Would they execute him because from what he remembers reading the demons are being from different dimension coming to the Earth and he is technically the same? Or would they lock him up and study him? He shuddered "Are you sure about this?". " I am. I have to do this, Simon and I need you to support me". "Alright, I am here for you" he entwined their hands together.

"Hey, something goes wrong, something happens to her and it´s on us, you know that right?" Alec warned Jace. "And you know what exactly happens if Valentine finds the cup before us? Look she´s one of us now".

They stopped before the iron gate on which reeled a skeleton. "Here it is. Isabelle will take you down Clary and we will wait for you here". Jace scowled at her when she didn´t immediately comply and it deepened when he saw her looking at Simon haltingly "well go on, we don´t have time for this". Clary reluctantly followed Isabelle down to the dark. "Alec, patrol perimeter to make sure everything is clear, I will mind the mundane".

Simon was surprised Jace just sent Clary, the love of his life, to a possible death and he doesn't seem to be overly concerned. Silence was making him uncomfortable. He wanted to go to the van but it was what got canon!Simon kidnapped, so he had to make sure to be near a shadowhunter just in case. Of course, with his luck it was Jace. "You know I was pretty surprised that Clary didn´t know anything unlike you". Simon jerked "What do you mean?". "Oh don´t tell me you don´t remember our meeting in the club. I assure you, I do" Jace came closer. "I don´t know what are you talking about. You have wrong guy". "I don´t think so" Jace cornered him to a concrete wall, his hand quickly seized Simon´s neck and he pressed himself to him "now you will give me an explanations and it better be a good one or else". His hand tighten and Simon couldn't breathe, when he thought he will black out Jace´s grip slackened. Simon wheezed "I don´t know anything about what is going on, I swear! I just knew about monsters being real, that´s all". Jace´s eyes were icy "How?". He said the first thing that came to his mind "Luke! I saw him transform. He didn´t notice me. I thought I saw things at first but I carefully observed him. Sometimes he slipped up, he growled, his eyes glowed or his nails grown. And if the werewolves are real why can't be anything else? That's all, I promise, I don't know anything more". It seemed he sounded sincere enough because he was let go. "Glad we had this conversation, no hard feeling" Jace gave him winning smile. He stared at him incredulously with a hand on his neck "Are you crazy? What makes you think it's alright to strangle people and then try to buddy to them?". "What would you have done in my place? Your enemies you thought long dead appear out of thin air, you find out that they target some unknowing shadowhunter and her boyfriend who knows too much. Wouldn't you be suspicious?". Simon was mad but he couldn´t argue with his logic. Jace felt it and grinned.

He tried to change a topic "So is cracking someone's mind open usually taking this long? Shouldn´t you check?". "Isabelle has it covered". "Shouldn't you make sure of it?". "Take my word for it, the Silent Brothers are quite unpleasant" Jace threw him glance " if I didn´t know better, I would have thought you want me to get lost". "What, no" it was sad it was true, for now he needed him right there. "Do I make you nervous?" Jace drew near and put his hand on his waist. "Why would you" started Simon but was interrupted by a heated kiss. "I know you have thought about this. I saw how you looked at me". The thing was he didn't but now he absolutely did. Curse his teenage body, it isn't the time for it. He wanted to say something but was distracted as Jace slid his lips to his ear and gently bit his earlobe, he managed to only groan. His fist grasped his blond hair and he pulled him into passionate kiss. It felt like he was being devoured, he was in tight embrace which didn´t allowed him to move, his lips felt sweetly bruised and his head swam. Every painfully won breath was being punished by increase of the intensity of kissing, like it was capital crime to pull his lips away.

Their make out session was interrupted by Isabelle's voice "Guys! Guys, where are you?!". They pulled away and took deep breath to calm down. Before others could see them, Jace said "it isn't over, we will finish this later". Simon hoped he wasn´t blushing. "Simon, oh Simon, it´s terrible, Valentine is my father" Clary fell into his arms. He hugged her and tried to calm her down. "Does anyone else think it's more than a coincidence?" demanded Alec "she could have been sent to spy on us". Clary protested "Yeah, my mum is kidnapped, my friend is too, my home is wrecked, I just find out I don't even know who I really am but I will spy on you for my lunatic father who I don't know?!".

Everyone was so focused on the commotion that they didn´t notice one of their members missing.

Simon felt something grip him from behind. He couldn't scream, his mouth was blocked. His captor interrupted their bickering and announced his presence" didn´t you lost something?". It caused them to turn and look up at him. Next to him was Simon in hold of another vampire. "It will be mine pleasure to kill you unless you return him" Jace growled. "Careful, think about the Accords" whispered Alec but not quietly enough. Raphael smirked "He´s right, we have broken no rules. We are just negotiating. The mundane unhurt in exchange for the Mortal cup. And the clock is ticking. Tic tack, people". With that he, his cronies and Simon disappeared by the supernatural vampire speed.


End file.
